Should I Date Someone Who . . .

Should I Date Someone Long-distance?

Chemistry: Chemistry can still exist in a long-distance relationship. A lot of what makes you feel good in a relationship is the idea you carry in your heart about who your partner is. Knowing that someone great is into you and waiting for you, is enough to keep many people going every day. If sex is not a huge part of your basic needs, then perhaps the great conversations over the phone with your partner are enough to keep you satisfied.

There’s two kinds of long-distance, though. If the long-distance situation is temporary, like if they are finishing school, then you should be willing to accept a lesser amount of chemistry. If you know there is a life of good character and chemistry waiting for you down the road, it might be worth it. On the other hand, you may find the experience of not physically having your partner with you too painful. If you aren’t really enjoying life or you feel too compelled to stray, then you should probably not take on this kind of relationship.

The other kind of long-distance is one that is semi-permanent. Perhaps they are in the military or travel a lot for business. In this case, you should make sure that you feel a 100% great chemistry in this situation. Perhaps you’re an introvert and don’t need a constant amount of face-time to feel fulfilled, then this might be a perfect arrangement for you.

Character: The fact that your partner is in another city probably doesn’t have any character implications. But a partner’s interest in long-distance does beg a question about how interested someone is in a real relationship to begin with.

Perhaps your partner is uncaring, and long-distance makes it easy to avoid worrying about someone else’s emotions all the time. Or perhaps they don’t want the responsibility of having to attend to someone’s needs all the time. When your partner lives close to you, they are more likely to want to come over and do activities together. So if someone is seeking something long-distance, make sure that they still ultimately want a real relationship, one with real responsibilities and with real emotional needs being fulfilled.